Cancer is Crap: Bears Do It

February 2 2010, 5:01 PM

Something strange is happening to me.  Me, the communicator, the social creature, the compiler and checker-offer of to-do lists… I suddenly have a back-log of unreplied-to e-mails in my in-box and have become one of those people who only checks her voicemail once or twice a week.  I cancel, reschedule, or otherwise bail out on social plans almost as quickly as I used to make them.  My to-do lists — usually a source of great satisfaction — are sources of torment, the growing number of glaringly un-checked, undone items reminding me of my lack of productivity.  I look at the calendar full of social commitments for the month, and I shudder at the thought of keeping them all.

In short, I’m overwhelmed.

This can partly be blamed on the weather.  February in Canada is no joke: it’s cold, it’s dark, and it sucks. Its only redeeming quality is that it’s usually just 28 days long.  Every year the cold weather encroaches like an enormous, sweating, mouth-breathing seat mate on a trans-Atlantic flight:  you are stuck with it, and even though it makes a relatively short time feel unendurable and shrinks your universe to a claustrophobic little space – it has to be tolerated until it eventually gets up and lumbers off into the sunset.

It’s only February 2nd so it will be a long time before I get to see the lumbering backside of this month.  And my anxiety about e-mails piling up and voicemails cramming my phones is already spiking.  I want to erase a good 50% of the scribbles on my calendar, I want to cross off a whole bunch of to-dos and just let them be not-dones.

So you know what?  That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m goi…

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